|
i can't be who you are
time out if everyone's worth pleasing
I'm a bubbbly,blur girl. I totally enjoy eating at Long John Silver, it's crazily delicious. Apart from that, i adore dancing and singing, they keep my boredom away. i love my bestestgirlfriends and of cause, my beloved one and only family, they just complete this happy life of mine. |
friends
AeenAinie Ameer Amira Amirah Aidil Aisyah Aizat Athirah Debbie Farizah Fazira Fitri Fizah Fyeqah Ihsan Ika Joey Khoiri Krystal Mahirah Nadyra Q'Liza Reena Ruzaini Sirin Tiqah Wardah WanSP credits
layout: (supervillain)codings: inksplash inspirations: minty-peach extra help :LIZA | |
|
Thursday, July 17, 2008 @1:17 AM
Uhhh....GOSH!
Ouuw what the hell ! I just came back from home and here it was I got lectures from my nenek. She said that I can't have a boyfriend until I finish school. Like ouuuw purr-leaase,I know lah and that's the reason why I don't have any boyfriend till now..She thinks I'm dumb,issit? She also said that she realised I've been messaging too much and thought that I had a boyfriend. How ridicolous! I message my frens pun tak boleh ker! She wants me to be anti-social,I guess. She don't know what I feel all this while..I am lonely and bored at home! So,what I did is to message my frens so I will feel occupied.I am old enough to know what's right for me.I know that studies are much more important than boyfriends.However,I need to have some breaak and have fun too! She even mentioned that I've change.Like,this year I've been going out frequently as compared to last year..and I've been sleeping late everyday unlike last time.I meaan,I am 15 years old..for goodness sake! Every teenage girls wanna have fun and its normal if a girl like ME to hang-out with my friends.At least,I don't reaally neglect my studies and homeworks.Eventhough sometimes I admit,I am a little lazy to study for tests.But,its not like I really don' care about my studies.She can't expect me to study,study and study like a geek! I think I will become a depressed person if i were to do that.Well,toldcha' that my family doesn't understands me except for my mum(sometimes). I am very annoyed and agitated that she lectured me like that.She said it was just an advice and it's up to me to listen or not.What crap is that! I definitely disagree with what she said.. I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND..just bestfriend like "hisham","nabil" , "khoiri" and "rasyad"... If they message me.is it wrong for me to to reply them? Ouuw gosh! Seriously,I'm sick of everything..I'm glad that my parents are working reaal hard to earn money for my family but the bonding between me and them...is getting further & further.Now,I realised that I'm close to my friends than my own family..I know family is important but it seems to me that my family doesn't care about me at all,only at certain times.I do put some laughter within my family but I am much happier in school with my friends.If you wanna know,I am a moody and aggresive person when I'm at home.I frequently get angry especially with my brothers. I don't usually laugh like a mad person as compared when I'm in school.That's the reason why in school,I seemed to be a bubbly,humourous and a laughing machine.I joke around with my friends and everythang.It's the best thang I had in my life.I never felt freedom and happiness before...until now.Thanks to all my mates that plays apart in changing my life.If not for them,I think I never spread my wings to explore new thing and live in my "own" world..I believe that I am a much happier & lively girl now..I am euphoria with what I had and will treasure them in my heart,I promise :) And if you wanna know,this is what I've been keeping about myself that I never told anyone else yet.The last few years had been a terrible moment for me.I always get bullied and people said that I'm ugly.I am very depressed and sometimes think of getting suicide.I can't take it anymore..It was a misery for me! However,I tried to be patient and carry on with my life..I would always cry,thinking why must it be me!? WHY ME? That's why if you realised,I am quite a quiet person.I get emotionally affected easily..I can say that I am a sensitive person.I cried everyday too! But now,I DON'T! I am a better peson I can say.I am open-minded to new thangs and VERY talkative too.I am sorry if I make silly jokes or craps..its meant to make myself happy.Whatever it is,I don't freaaking care about what she said.It maybe sinful to say like this to your elders but I had enough of this shit!I've been a dumbarse to follow everythang that my elders want because I dunwanna dissapoint and be rude to them.But,now! I am matured enough to do what I want (& NOT what they want) and do whatever that makes me happy! Seriously,my friends are the only 'family' that I can hold on to..if they were to leave me,then I just have to be the girl who always get depressed and all alone like I used to. Just wanna say thanks to each & every of my friends for being a great friend and cares for me. Everyone of you are unique in different way.Remember,I won't hate anyone because I believe nobody is perfect. I treasure my friendship the MOST! :) thanks eyaah!
Friday, July 11, 2008 @9:10 PM
We All have teeth that can bite underneath,to where the reality grows..
 Ouuw Gosh,finally I'm baack on track eyaah-eyaah,beybey! Wanted to say,"thanks sangat-sangat to NurQhalizaBteZailan for creating my lovely blogskin and love yar!" Hahah,I guess my blog would be dead by now if it weren't for this sweet lady. And,and here I goes.. Aiseyy! I just feel soo euphoria to have my lovely friends all around me. At least,I know there's somebody who I can share my stories and talk crap to. Being the only 'heroin',opps! I mean girl in the family is kinda boring. I seriously have no one to share my pain with.And,I've been keeping all of it inside my cute lil' small heart.Those annoying brothers I have? Nehh,don't even ask! What they know is,soccer..pSp and all the thangs a guy must have.So,even if I'm hurt in the internal..no one will know.Not even..my ibu or ayah.Simply because I like to keep my feelings and don't dare to speak out.My deaar friends will never know if I'm sad or not.Because,even if I am sad..I tried to make myself happy.I covered my sadness by smiling and laughing..Seeing wide smiles on each and everyone of my friends and family's faces,just make me happy too! I want them to enjoy their life and treasure the moments they have now.However,I know I am not perfect.I am ugly and bad.I did quite many sinful things,which is ever countless.Humans do makes mistake,I know! I am still young and still on the verge to learn new things in life..You know,people say that life is unfair but I say that life is beautiful.There's many wonderful things you can explore in life.It's just about how you go about making it wonderful for you.One thing is that in life,you should never give up and move on.I agree very much that there are many obstacles in life..It's okeh to struggle as long as you know you have tried. Now,close your eyes and smile.See anythang? What,NOO?! Look carefully..see! It's me smiling widely back at you.I am wearing a crown and a cinderella dress..I am searching for something important and beautiful..Nono! It's not my missing pair of glass slipper.But,instead I am searching for your beautiful smiles.. So,senyum-senyumlah selalu okeh! And mari kiter enjoys! |
